08 March 2010
Never forget your dreams
As the 12 month anniversary approaches in a few days of Savekers Limited's administration
(10th March) I have looked back and paused for reflection.
I've spent a little time over the past few days thinking about this time last year - remembering breaking the news to my parents, fending off suppliers, trying to ensure no one's financial position worsened, being unable to let my closest friends and colleagues know what was to come, planning how I would actually tell our employees, not really understanding how administration worked, the feeling of letting go
, the relief, the loneliness and the uncertainty of what lay ahead.
But here we are, a year on and still in one piece. In so many ways I'm now in a much better place.
Of course I have looked back and had moments of insecurity and played events over in my mind - could anything have been done differently, could I have done more and so on. Each and every time I know that the answer is the same - no. Very recently I was interviewed for Radio 4 along with some of my former employees and I am still surprised at just how emotional I can become when asked about the actual events of 10th March. I can hear the sounds on the shop floor as I stood in front of my workforce and can picture the faces that looked back at me - and I can certainly relive the sound of my own voice telling everyone that there was nothing more that could be done. In many ways it's as if it was just yesterday. The pain is almost as raw.
In looking over the journey that has followed I have recalled how busy I have been, the lessons I have learnt, how many new contacts I have, how disappointed I have been with some relationships, how many opportunities I have found and what new friendships have been forged.
I certainly haven't had time to look back and dwell - it's only ever forwards for me now. I still carry certain insecurities but then who doesn't?
I've faced many demons and still know that I have the love and support of the people that truly matter and so I raise a glass to the original Savekers Limited and thank my great Grandfather for founding the company that provided me with the most valuable apprenticeship you could imagine. I have had such a wonderfully valuable training for life and if I can make any difference, even just to one person through my experiences
, then it's all been worthwhile.
The dream I had as a little girl to run my very own company (from scratch) has been realised this year
. I am no longer the caretaker of someone else's dream, I'm living my own.